Charged With Violating a Protective Order by Mistake? Connecticut Defense Guide

One of the most frightening calls I get is from people who tell me: “I didn’t mean to break the order — but now I’m being charged.” In Connecticut, even a small, accidental misstep with a protective order can trigger a felony violation charge under C.G.S. § 53a-223.

It doesn’t matter if you bumped into the protected party at the grocery store, replied to a text message without thinking, or returned to the shared home to pick up your belongings. Once the protective order is in place, the law expects strict compliance.

This blog is for people who have been charged with violating a protective order by mistake. My goal is to explain how Connecticut courts treat these cases, why intent often doesn’t matter, and most importantly, what steps you can take to protect yourself.

Protective orders are issued at domestic violence arraignments and can last throughout the life of a criminal case. They come in three basic forms:

• Full no contact – no communication in any form.
• Residential stay-away – no entry to the protected person’s home.
• Partial/limited – some contact allowed, but no threats, harassment, or abuse.

Even the “partial” order creates a minefield. Many people think they can answer a friendly call or pass along a message through a third party, not realizing that this can be charged as a violation.

Most of my clients never set out to defy a court order. Instead, they’re charged by mistake after ordinary, human actions like:

• Answering a text or call from the protected person.
• Running into them in public and exchanging polite words.
• Trying to handle childcare arrangements outside of official channels.
• Going back to the residence to grab clothes, tools, or documents.
• Social media activity like “liking” a photo or leaving a comment.
• Indirect communication — having a friend relay a message.

The problem is that Connecticut law doesn’t distinguish much between intentional defiance and technical mistakes. Both are treated as violations.

Being charged with violating a protective order is not a slap on the wrist. It is a D felony. Penalties can include:

• Up to five years in prison
• Fines of up to $5,000
• Probation and restrictive supervision

Even if jail time isn’t imposed, the charge itself can derail your case. Judges and prosecutors often view a violation as proof that you can’t follow directions, making them less likely to allow a diversionary program like the Family Violence Education Program (FVEP).

[Insert internal link to your Diversionary Programs page]

If you are facing this charge, you may feel like the situation is hopeless. But there are steps you can take right now:

• Stay calm. Panic often leads to more mistakes.
• Do not contact the protected person. Even if they reached out first, you must not respond.
• Hire a lawyer immediately. Protective order violations are prosecuted aggressively.
• Save all communications. Texts, calls, or posts may show that the violation was initiated by the protected person or unintentional.
• Be ready to explain context. Judges are more lenient when they see evidence that a violation was accidental, non-threatening, and isolated.

While the law is strict, judges do recognize that life is complicated. Many “by mistake” violations involve technical issues, not threats or violence. For example:

• Parents crossing paths at a school pickup.
• A spouse answering a text about bills or child custody.
• A brief, accidental encounter at a store or restaurant.

An experienced defense lawyer can highlight these facts, showing that the violation doesn’t reflect danger or defiance. In many cases, this context can lead to dismissal, continuation for dismissal, or access to diversionary programs.

If you are currently under a protective order, here are practical steps to avoid accidental violations:

• Ask your lawyer for clarification. If you’re unsure what you can or cannot do, don’t guess.
• Use parenting apps for communication. If children are involved, official platforms can help prevent improper contact.
• Avoid gray areas on social media. Any interaction can be misconstrued.
• Leave immediately during accidental contact. Document the event so you can explain later.

One of the hardest things for clients to hear is that good intentions aren’t a defense. The law focuses on whether the order was violated, not why.

This doesn’t mean context is irrelevant. A skilled defense attorney can use the lack of intent to negotiate a better outcome, argue for dismissal, or reduce the severity of the charge. But the best protection is to treat the order as an absolute rule until it is lifted or modified by the court.

No. Only the court can change an order. Even if they want contact, you can be arrested.

Do not reply. Save the message and give it to your lawyer.

Yes. Under § 53a-223, even a first violation is a felony.

Possibly, but it depends on the language of the order. Courts can create special exceptions.

Leave immediately. Document the encounter. Context matters, but prosecutors may still file charges.

A felony conviction will. But many cases are resolved without conviction if handled correctly.

Yes. Your lawyer can file a motion to modify or terminate the order, but until granted, the original terms apply.

Yes, especially for accidental, non-threatening technical violations. It depends on context and representation.

Typically until the criminal case is resolved, though sometimes longer.

By negotiating with the prosecutor, presenting context to the judge, and protecting your rights through the entire process.

Being charged with violating a protective order by mistake is terrifying. You may feel like you’re being treated as if you deliberately broke the law, even when you didn’t. But the reality is that judges and prosecutors do understand the difference between a technical slip and a willful violation — and with the right defense, you can get through this without losing your future.

I’ve helped countless clients in Stamford, Norwalk, Bridgeport, and across Connecticut navigate these charges. My approach is simple: treat every client with respect, fight for their rights, and make sure one mistake doesn’t ruin the rest of their life.

📞Call Allan F. Friedman, Criminal Lawyer, at (203) 357-5555 or contact me here. The sooner we talk, the sooner we can build a defense and help you move forward.