It usually starts with a knock on the door or a polite phone call. A detective says they just want to “ask you a few questions.” They tell you that you’re not under arrest, that they only want your side of the story — and that cooperating will make things easier. This is often how a police investigation begins.
I tell clients this all the time: never talk to the police without a lawyer.
Even the most innocent, well-intentioned person can destroy their case in a matter of seconds just by trying to explain themselves. Once words come out of your mouth, they can be twisted, misinterpreted, or taken out of context — and there’s no way to take them back.
Why People Talk — and Why It’s a MistakeMost people believe they can talk their way out of trouble. They think that if they’re honest and cooperative, the police will “see their side.” That’s human nature — but it’s also one of the biggest mistakes you can make.
Here’s why people talk:
But here’s the reality: when detectives call you in, they already suspect you. They’re not gathering facts to decide if a crime happened — they’re gathering evidence to prove that it did, and they’re hoping you’ll hand it to them.
Police officers are trained to make you feel comfortable enough to talk. They’re allowed to lie to you during questioning — they can say your friend “already told us everything,” or “we found your fingerprints,” or “it’ll look better if you cooperate.” Don’t fall for it.
Your Rights Under Connecticut and Federal LawUnder the Fifth Amendment, you have the right to remain silent. Under the Sixth Amendment, you have the right to an attorney. These aren’t technicalities — they’re the foundation of your protection against self-incrimination.
In Connecticut, police must give you Miranda warnings if you’re in custody before interrogation. But even if they haven’t read you your rights yet, anything you say voluntarily can still be used against you.
Remember:
If you simply say, “I don’t wish to answer any questions without my attorney present,” the conversation must stop. That’s not being difficult — that’s being smart.
Police Tactics You Need to UnderstandPolice officers are skilled communicators. They know how to make you feel like talking will help. Some common lines they use include:
Every one of those statements is designed to make you talk — and once you do, you’ve just made their job easier. They’re not gathering your story for fairness. They’re building a case, and you’re supplying the evidence.
Visit my Criminal Defense page to understand your rights before, during and after an arrest.
How Talking Hurts Your CaseEven a single sentence can come back to haunt you. Maybe you said you were “around the area,” or you “might have had a drink earlier.” Later, the prosecutor uses that to prove intent, opportunity, or impairment.
I’ve represented countless clients who thought they were helping themselves by cooperating — and ended up facing stronger charges because of it. Once the statement is recorded, there’s no fixing it. You can’t testify later that “you didn’t mean it that way.”
And it’s not just what you say — it’s how you say it. Hesitation, tone, or nervousness can be interpreted as guilt. You might think you’re being polite; they might write “became evasive.”
Talking to police without counsel almost never helps — it only creates new problems your lawyer has to undo later.
When You Should Talk — and HowThere are times when cooperating can genuinely help — but only when it’s part of a planned legal strategy guided by your lawyer.
Your attorney might decide to:
These steps are carefully planned and negotiated in advance. You’ll know exactly what’s being discussed, and your lawyer will be there to stop questioning the moment it crosses the line.
The key point: You don’t make that call alone. Let your lawyer decide if and when to talk — and how much to say.
What to Do if You’ve Already SpokenIf you’ve already talked to police — even a little — don’t panic, but don’t delay either. Every hour matters.
Here’s what to do:
Even if you made a statement, there may be ways to challenge its admissibility or context — but your lawyer needs to act fast.
Real-World ExampleA client once came to me after being questioned about an alleged domestic disturbance. He swore he “only told the police the truth” — that he “didn’t mean to yell.” Unfortunately, his short statement became the key evidence used to charge him with breach of peace and disorderly conduct.
Once I reviewed the report, I realized that if he had simply waited to speak until I was present, he likely never would have been arrested. We were still able to resolve the case favorably, but it was much harder than it needed to be.
That’s why I repeat this so often: don’t try to explain — call a lawyer first.
Frequently Asked QuestionsCan I Be Arrested for Refusing to Talk to the Police?No. Exercising your right to remain silent is completely lawful. The police might act frustrated, but they cannot arrest you simply for staying quiet.
What if the Officer Says I’m Not Under Arrest — Does That Mean It’s Safe to Talk?No. “Not under arrest” just means you’re free to leave, not that what you say won’t be used later. If they’re questioning you, it’s almost always because they already suspect something.
Can Silence Be Used Against Me in Court?If you invoke your right to remain silent clearly, that cannot be used as evidence of guilt. However, unclear or partial statements can cause confusion — so always be direct: “I want to remain silent. I want a lawyer.”
What if I’m Innocent and Want to Tell My Side?Even innocent people can be charged. If your story truly helps, your lawyer can share it at the right time — with proper legal protections in place.
Should I Talk if I Think I’m Just a Witness?Still no — not until you speak with an attorney. You may not know the full scope of the investigation or whether you’re considered a suspect.
What Happens if I Already Gave a Statement?Contact a lawyer immediately. Your attorney may be able to suppress your statement or limit how it’s used.
Do I Have to Answer Questions During a Traffic Stop?You must provide license, registration, and proof of insurance. Beyond that, you don’t have to answer other questions or consent to searches.
Can Police Lie to Me During Questioning?Yes — and they often do. They can claim they have evidence they don’t actually have to get you to talk.
For more guidance, see my article “Can you be Charged in Connecticut for a Crime if You’ve Never Entered the State?”
Call Allan F. Friedman, Criminal LawyerIf you’ve been contacted by police or believe you’re under investigation, don’t wait to see what happens next. The moment law enforcement reaches out, it’s time to protect yourself.
Call Allan F. Friedman, Criminal Lawyer, at (203) 357-5555 or visit contact us for a free confidential consultation.
Let’s make sure your rights stay protected — before it’s too late.